It's only been a week since we last caught up — but in that short time we've seen: a $1.5 billion hack on Bybit (or maybe Safe?), the wind-down of multiple SEC investigations with "no action" (including Coinbase, Uniswap, Robinhood, Gemini, and OpenSea), the $65 billion hedge fund Citadel announce their plans to offer crypto trading + liquidity, a slump in pumpfun tokens bonding, and a continued slide across crypto majors (BTC 🔻11%, ETH 🔻15%, SOL 🔻19% in 7d).

$YE — Rumors swirled that Kanye West sold his X account to BarkMeta for the low price of $17 million. The account then went on a (now deleted) posting spree claiming that existing YZY tokens are fake and hinting at his own coin. And like any good pending celebrity token drop, it got more convoluted from there: $YE drops, the trenches clamor, and the deployer subsequently releases a second token claiming they hacked crypto.com's socials to promote the first.

$DB — The devs at Fortnite trolled the trenches by adding a "confusing crypto coin" to the latest update, which can be used "for shady black-market trades". CT embraced the bit and launched a real token on pumpfun.